Conversation flowed and the evening was quite enjoyable.  Needless to say, I tried to determine if there was any chemistry going on between them.  I watched their body language, observed their facial expressions, and so forth.  However, I was not able to determine if it was a successful match.  Neither had given me any real clues as to what they really thought about the other.

Since I was closer to my  female friend, I inquired about her first impressions of the guy.  She admitted that she thought he was very nice, but her nonchalant attitude did not convince me that it was going to go further. To this day, I am not sure if she chose not to confide in me at that moment or if she just didn't know that months later they would marry.  Evidently there had been a great amount of communication between them on a subconscious  level. 

The point is that there is always an inner dialogue going on between the sexes.  In psychological jargon, it is  the conversation between the anima and animus.  In every human relationship there is interaction between not just two people - but four.  The two invisible, subconscious figures, anima and animus, are autonomous, and outside of the individual's control.  They are part of the natural life of the unconscious psyche and can never wholly be subordinated to the ego's wishes.  They are the inner energies operating within the subconscious during every exchange of energy between people.

Relationships which contain any element of "falling in love" inevitably contain anima and animus projections; and the curious feeling of familiarity one has about the loved one is because one has fallen in love with oneself.  What distinguishes it from narcissism is that the "beloved" is not one's conscious ego, but an aspect of the unconscious self.  Projections are not  harmful or negative.  They are a necessary catalyst for relationship, just as relationship is a necessary catalyst for self-awareness.

To elaborate further about projections - ask someone to give a description of the personality type he finds most difficult to get along with.  Invariably, he will produce a description of his own repressed characteristics - a self-description that is quite unconscious and which will always upset him as he receives its effect from the other person.  Likewise, a positive characteristic or talent may that may be latent within himself will also be projected and he will admire his own quality in others.  If and when he is becomes involved with someone who fits his positive projection, the relationship will be instrumental in helping him to become aware of his own innate talent or character trait. 

The quest for the 'inner partner' is responsible for our embrace of life.  The anima and animus are guides in the deepest sense as they connect the individual with the great heritage of collective images and experiences which stands behind his/her personal life.  The are instruments of fate, directing us into situations which we would otherwise avoid.  They live within us and propel us into those experiences which are opposed to our conscious desires. 

The anima continually seduces man into the dark world of feeling and emotional entanglement, which is uncomfortable to his natural psychology.   Woman is continually being driven by the animus into isolation, independence, and self-realization, which are antithetical to her instinctual propensity to live life through personal relationships and unconscious identification with others.

We may feel like cursing these treacherous guides, who instead of bringing us happiness - bring us to the edge of the precipice, and often plunge us headlong into it.  Yet, without them, there wouldn't be any growth,  joy, or understanding of the world.  Through them, one can truly see how relationships are a  path of inner development and the living embodiment of a journey to the deepest center of one's essence.