Deep within the recesses
of our heart and soul is the yearning to unite with our Soul Mate.
Each Soul desires to return to the
Source of Creation while experiencing
life on the material plane. Innately, we know that someday we
are destined to journey Home to unite with the Twin aspect of our self who loves us
unconditionally and makes us feel complete - as One.
individuals believe that we are really spiritual beings engaged in a
experience in each lifetime - the reverse of what we have been taught for
eons. It is our spiritual half that our hearts yearn for - our
Are we destined to yearn for our Spiritual God/Self that we
were separated from at birth this entire incarnation? Perhaps
We evolve by endeavoring to restore balance within our
psyche. At some time along our evolutionary journey we will reach Zero Point - the merge of our matter and antimatter selves.
Many people miss their Twin Flame or
Soul Mate and feel incomplete throughout their lives. They often feel alone, abandoned,
lost and depressed. They cannot find themselves. A piece of his/herself is always missing. They search
to fill the void throughout life but never completely succeed.
However, If one is lucky, he/she may find someone
who comes close to making him/her feel
whole - someone who
energy frequency of their Twin Flame and gives the feeling of union
When you make love with this person - you
will experience yourself in total.
From a psychological
perspective, it is believed that one must integrate his/her male/female
energy or animus/anima within the psyche to become whole. Every man
contains a woman within him and every woman a man. This basic
truth is both biological and psychological.
Relationships which contain any element
of "falling in love" inevitably contain anima and animus
projections. This sense of familiarity has often been
explained by reincarnation suggesting that they are a continuation of
some encounter begun in another life.
are attracted to people who express outwardly those characteristics and feelings that lay dormant in our own psyche.
Relationships are really learning
experiences that are instrumental in bringing to the surface many unconsciousness traits we possess that have yet to be dealt
Since women in general seem to
be more in touch and aware of their emotions, they usually can express them
with a greater degree of freedom (although not always), Most societies
are more tolerant of women demonstrating emotionalism while men are taught
that they must repress their feelings as any display (especially in
public) will be considered a sign of weakness. This is
slowly changing, however as we are becoming more educated of our inner
workings psychologically and understand that every man has an anima or
soul (female energy) within his psyche and therefore has feelings and
moods similar to a woman. Most men simply project these emotions
onto the females in their lives.
The anima is a real problem for a man's consciousness
as it has a double face. Her light side is creative, inspiring, magical - her darker side may be seen as devouring and
destructive. The anima embodies all man's collective experience of
woman and is a symbol of the archetypal feminine principle. If
most men relate to the dark side of the anima it may account for our
present day Patriarchal system which is motivated by fear.
Does this explain why men are
reluctant to let go of their need to control and dominate? I think
so. Too many ills within our Patriarchal society reflect this problem. Power and control are a signature of a man's
status and accomplishments
in life. How much wealth can he accumulate?
How much power can he generate in his politics, business and
many women will he seduce and then walk away from? How many children
will he abandon psychically, emotionally and financially? How large is his
macho ego or better still - how insecure is he? How driven is he by his
inferior feelings, resentment and fear?
Patriarchal practices are
exercised within the ranks of every social, religious, business and
organization as well as within the dynamic structure of
relationships, family and marriage.
The animus is the archetypal image of man
existent within every woman. His bright side is like the
sun and brings illumination and clarity, purpose and strength, while his
dark side is the destroyer, who severs relationships and brings the
death of feeling and the coldness of eternal isolation.
Through the animus, woman is plagued by
the same problem that man is by the anima - the problem of unconscious
assumptions and expectations, and of ensuing resentment when unspoken
demands are not answered. If she lacks conscious cooperation with
the unconscious man in her own psyche, a woman will expect her partner
to live out her own potential, making it intolerable for him ever to
negative projection of male is why so many women unconsciously do not
Individuals blind to the sexual opposite
within never realize that the partner they choose is chosen because he
or she bears some resemblance to the anima or animus. I think that this accounts for the
emphasis of both sexes to develop their inner opposite.
While more and more men are openly
declaring that they are homosexual - either because of their retaliation
to a female power they fear is
emerging or a real pull to
balance their psyche is apparent.
Women, resentful of male
domination and the predominant male projection of weakness and
inferiority are no longer tolerant
subservient. More and more
women have come to the realization that education and ambition are
the tools necessary for a fair shake in the
world. They are tired and resentful of the unfair prejudices
and treatment they are forced to endure to avoid the repercussions
of our Patriarchal society that can enforce economic pressures.
This is sad as before balance is achieved, many must sacrifice their
intrinsic nature of love and nurturing.
Perhaps before we are able to
unite with our Twin Flame, we must first
acknowledge the male/female within each one of us. It is paramount that
relationship with our "significant
other" must be balanced and
incorporate respect, dignity, and equality. This is probably our greatest
challenge here on the earth plane.
We all need someone we can love and who
reciprocates this love; someone to help us through this journey in
Unfortunately, until there is
acceptance of the sexes, many people will continue
to live life enduring
profound emotional pain and loneliness. Unable to
unite their own anima -animus energies
within they will not find true love in this lifetime - even if it means
true love of Self. They will continue to project their own inner
energies and set themselves up for emotional hurt and disappointment.
I thought it interesting
that I received the following e-mail as I was writing this page. Quoted in the e-mail were
statements made by Jane Fonda at a Speech at the National
Women's Leadership Summit - Washington, D.C. - June 12, 2003 -
Before I turned sixty I thought I was a feminist. I
was in a way - I worked to register women to vote, I supported women
getting elected. I brought gender issues into my movie roles, I encouraged
women to get strong and healthy, I read the books we've all read. I had it
in my head and partly in my heart, yet I didn't fully get it.
See, although I've always been financially
independent, and professionally and socially successful, behind the closed
doors of my personal life I was still turning myself in a pretzel so I'd
be loved by an alpha male. I thought if I didn't become whatever he wanted
me to be, I'd be alone, and then, I wouldn't exist.
There is not the time nor is this the place to
explain why this was true, or why it is such a common theme for so many
otherwise strong, independent women. Nor is it the time to tell you how I
got over it (I'm writing my memoirs, and all will be revealed). What's
important is that I did get over it. Early on in my third act I found my
voice and, in the process, I have ended up alone - but not really. You
see, I'm with myself and this has enabled me to see feminism more clearly.
It's hard to see clearly when you're a pretzel.
So I want to tell you briefly some of what I have
learned in this first part of my third act and how it relates to what, I
think, needs to happen in terms of a revolution.
Because we can't just talk about women being at the
table - it's too late for that - we have to think in terms of the shape of
the table. Is it hierarchical or circular (metaphorically speaking)? We
have to think about the quality of the men who are with us at the table,
the culture that is hovering over the table that governs how things are
decided and in whose interests. This is not just about glass ceilings or
politics as usual. This is about revolution, and I have finally gotten to
where I can say that word and know what I mean by it and feel good about
it because I see, now, how the future of the earth and everything on it
including men and boys depends on this happening.
Let me say something about men: obviously, I've had
to do a lot of thinking about men, especially the ones who've been
important in my life, and what I've come to realize is how damaging
Patriarchy has been for them. And all them are smart, good men who want to
be considered the "good guys." But the Male Belief System, that
compartmentalized, hierarchical, ejaculatory,
power structure that is Patriarchy, is fatal to the hearts of men, to
empathy and relationship.
Yes, men and boys receive privilege and status from
Patriarchy, but it is a poisoned privilege for which they pay a heavy
price. If traditional, Patriarchal socialization takes aim at girls'
voices, it takes aim at boys' hearts - makes them lose the deepest, most
sensitive and empathic parts of themselves. Men aren't even allowed to be
depressed, which is why they engage so often in various forms of
self-numbing, from sex to alcohol and drugs to gambling and workaholism.
Patriarchy strikes a Faustian bargain with men.
Patriarchy sustains itself by breaking relationship.
I'm referring here to real relationship, the showing-up kind, not the
"I'll stay with him cause he pays the bills, or because of the kids,
or because if I don't I will cease to exist," but relationship where
you, the woman, can acknowledge your partner's needs while simultaneously
acknowledging and tending to your own.
I work with young girls and I can tell you there's a
whole generation who have not learned what a relationship is supposed to
feel like - that it's not about leaving themselves behind.
Now, every group that's been oppressed has its share
of Uncle Toms, and we have our Aunt Toms. I call them ventriloquists for
the patriarchy. I won't name names but we all know them. They are women in
whom the toxic aspects of masculinity hold sway. It should neither
surprise nor discourage us. We need to understand it and be able to
explain it to others, but it means, I think, that we should be just about
getting a woman into this position or that. We need to look at "is
that woman intact emotionally," has she had to forfeit her empathy
gene somewhere along the way for whatever reason?
And then, of course, there are what Eve Ensler calls
Vagina-Friendly men, who choose to remain emotionally literate. It's not
easy for them - look at the names they get called: wimp, pansy, pussy,
soft, limp, momma's boy. Men don't like to be considered "soft"
on anything, which is why more don't choose to join us in the circle.
Actually, most don't have the choice to make. You know why? Because was
they are real little (I learned this from Carol Gilligan), like five years
or younger, boys internalize the message of what it takes to be a
"real man." Sometimes it comes through their fathers who beat it
into them. Sometimes it comes because no one around them knows how to
connect with their emotions (This is a generational thing). Sometimes it
comes because our culture rips boys from their mothers before they are
developmentally ready. Sometimes it comes because boys are teased at
school for crying. Sometimes it's the subliminal messages from teachers
and the media. It can be a specific trauma that shuts them down. But, I
can assure you, it is true to some extent of many if not most men, and
when the extreme version of it manifests itself in our nation's leaders,
Another thing that I've learned is that there is a
fundamental contradiction not just between patriarchy and relationship,
but between patriarchy and Democracy. Patriarchy masquerades as Democracy,
but it's an anathema. How can it be Democracy when someone has to always
be above someone else, when women, who are a majority, live within a
social construct that discriminates against them, keeps them from having
their full human rights?
But just because Patriarchy has ruled for 10,000
years since the beginning of agriculture, doesn't make it inevitable.
Maybe at some earlier stage in human evolution,
Patriarchy was what was needed just for the species to survive. But today,
there's nothing threatening the human species but humans.
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our predators, we've subdued nature almost to extinction, and there are no
more frontiers to conquer or to escape into so as to avoid having to deal
with the mess we've left behind. Frontiers have always given capitalism,
Patriarchy's economic face, a way to avoid dealing with its shortcomings.
Well, we're having to face them now in this post-frontier era and
inevitably - especially when we have leaders who suffer from toxic
masculinity - that leads to war, the conquering of new markets, and the
destruction of the earth.
However, it is altogether possible, that we are on
the verge of a tectonic shift in paradigms - that what we are seeing
happening today are the paroxysms, the final terrible death throes of the
old, no longer workable, no longer justifiable system. Look at it this
way: it's Patriarchy's third act and we have to make sure it's its last.
It's possible that the extreme, neo-conservative
version of Patriarchy which makes up our current Executive branch will
over-play its hand and cause the house of cards to collapse. We know that
this new "preventive war" doctrine will put us on a permanent
war footing. We know there can't be guns and butter, right? We learned
that with Vietnam. We know that a Pandora's box has been opened in the
Middle East and that the administration is not prepared for the
complexities that are emerging. We know that friends are becoming foes and
angry young Muslims with no connection to Al Qaeda are becoming terrorists
in greater numbers. We know that with the new tax plan the rich will be
better off and the rest will be poorer. We know what happens when poor
young men and women can only get jobs by joining the military and what
happens when they come home and discover that the day after Congress
passed the "Support Our Troops" Resolution, $25 billion was cut
from the VA budget. We know that already, families of servicemen have to
go on welfare and are angry about it.
So, as Eve Ensler says, we have to change the verbs
from obliterate, dominate, humiliate, to liberate, appreciate, celebrate.
We have to make sure that head and heart can be reunited in the body
politic, and relationship and democracy can be restored.
We need to really understand the depth and breadth
of what a shift to a new, feminine paradigm would mean, how fundamentally
central it is to every single other thing in the world. We win, everything
wins, including boys, men, and the earth. We have to really understand
this and be able to make it concrete for others so they will be able to
see what Feminism really is and see themselves in it.
So our challenge is to commit ourselves to creating
the tipping point and the turning point. The time is ripe to launch a
unified national movement, a campaign, a tidal wave, built around issues
and values, not candidates.
That's why V-Day, The White House Project and their
many allies are partnering to hold a national women's convention somewhere
in the heartland, next June of 2004. Its purpose will be to inspire and mobilize women
men around the
and to build a new movement that
will coalesce our
forces around a
politic of caring.
The convention will put forward a
fresh, clear, and
of issues, and build the spirit,
energy and power
hold the candidates
accountable for them. There will be a diversity of
across the country who will
participate in the mobilization.
There will be a
special focus on involving young women. There will be a
performers and artists
acknowledging that culture plays a
powerful role in
There will be a concurrent Internet
organizations will be asked to sign on and send
representatives to the convention.
There will be a caravan, a rolling tour across the
country, of diverse women leaders, celebrities and activists who will work
with local organizers to build momentum, sign people up, register them to
vote, get them organized and leave behind a tool kit for further
This movement will be a volcano that will erupt in a
flow of soft, hot,
relational lava that will encircle
Patriarchy and smother it. We will be
the flood and we'll be Noah's arc. "V" for
Vagina, for vote, for
One may visit various sites on the
internet, read current articles, books, etc. and be apprised of many
different spins on what is happening in the world and why.
Each person offers their perspective and information. We blame the battle of the sexes,
government, aliens, the planets, nature, etc. Here is one of my
theories: (I do have others)
I think that before we can realize
peace and harmony and a true love and appreciation of life and our loved
ones, before we may realize the return of the female and Matriarchal
principle, humanity must pay its dues. Mother Earth - female,
nurturing, life giving and supportive - is in the midst of chastising her
children. She has suffered and tolerated man's selfish disregard for
her well-being for many years. She has been exploited of her
resources, unappreciated for her beauty and abundance, and has been
subjected to the total disregard of her natural laws.
The paradigm is the same; man simply does
not appreciate, respect, and love the female nurturing principle.
Instead he assumes that he can conquer, manipulate, and dictate his personal
laws and authority.
Perhaps the real revolution is with Mother Earth as we are suffering her
wrath worldwide with violent storms, erratic weather patterns, volcanoes,
earthquakes, floods, new incurable viruses, and lastly - perhaps a pole
shift - all indicative of a purification and regeneration of a weary Mother
This surely reflects the
micro and the macro of a very dynamic energy about to transform humanity.
While many of us are blaming our
government, society, the wealthy, etc. and claim we are seeking the
"truth" - how many of us are willing to accept the responsibility
of this truth either on a personal level or a collective level?
And what is the
truth except one
opinion at any given time. The human experience is complex - and
answers are not readily given. We may just be an experiment in the
eyes of a Creator. And for what purpose?