How many of us look back on our childhood and remember incidents that were hurtful and embarrassing? Quite a few of us, I am sure. Most parents are loving and wonderful and did the best that they could. However, the child that proves to be a little more sensitive and emotional needs extra attention and consideration. These children are fragile and often cannot express what is going on inside of their little hearts and heads. A careless remark or negative criticism from an authority, parent, or older sibling can undermine their self-confidence and esteem and the consequential damaging effects will linger well into adulthood. | |
When a little girl
looks into the mirror she sees herself as a beautiful princess, prima
ballerina, or famous movie star. She fantasizes herself as being adored, cherished, loved and
desired. Her essence is mirrored back to her. Unfortunately,
she often does not see this same recognition in the eyes of her parents
and those she loves.
Common remarks such as: "Don't be ridiculous", "who do you think you are?", "you're not smart enough, not pretty enough", you're too heavy, too clumsy, too tall, too short, can't sing, can't dance, grow up, don't be stupid, etc." are but a few of the damaging and hurtful comments uttered casually and unfeelingly to children. We as parents and adults are often stressed to the max - but that does not excuse our insensitivity to a little person who has stars in her eyes and dreams beautiful dreams. How sad is the individual who is jealous and in competition with this little person. Later, she may blossom into a beautiful and radiant flower, but she will always carry the negative programming she experienced from others in her heart. A child needs all the encouragement, praise, care and love from her parents and elders as possible. You cannot love a child too much. Often, a parent will substitute material gifts in lieu of the love they are unable to give. Then the child is considered "spoiled" - but who is to blame here?If your child possesses a special gift or talent, it should be nurtured and encouraged instead of your insistence that she embrace whatever it is that you deem is best. This is true unconditional love. Your acceptance and tolerance for your little girl's individuality is essential. Each child is unique and has come into the world equipped with talents and challenges to enable her to evolve into a self-accomplished and happy individual. Her childhood environment will be the springboard to launch her into the world to enjoy a happy and successful life. As parents, it is your responsibility to gently encourage your child's essence.
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